CBC Touchstones Newsletter

	Children's Bereavement Center 7600 S Red Road, Suite 307 South Miami, FL 33143 305.668.4902 info@childbereavement.org
The mission of the Children's Bereavement Center® is to restore a sense of hope for the future to children and families who have lost a loved one.

Touchstones
a newsletter for friends of the Children's Bereavement Center

December 2011
Digital Version

Handling the Holidays

Anticipation of a new experience, ritual, or event is often more overwhelming than the event itself. Holidays are especially difficult and often filled with ambivalence. For those of us who have suffered the death of a loved one, the holiday season seems especially complicated and can be filled with mixed emotions.

Know that there is no right or wrong way to deal with the holidays, we must each decide what feels best and is most comforting. No simple list could ever alleviate the hurt and pain we may feel. First and foremost, find a supportive friend or confidante to whom you can express your thoughts and feelings. Include your loved one’s name in conversation and recollect past holidays and joys. Ignoring the feelings won’t make them go away.

Many bereaved families have found unique and meaningful ways of remembering their loved one during this season. Here are some ideas and ways which have helped others and may provide additional support.

Plan ahead. Create new traditions or keep the old.
Involve children in creating new rituals and traditions.
Serve your loved one’s favorite food.
Journal your thoughts and feelings.
Maintain a memorial light or candle.
Dedicate a bench, tree, or star in their name.
Publish a memorial note or poem in the newspaper or a newsletter.
Make a special time to look at photos or videos.
Donate in your loved one’s name.
Allow some quiet time, take a walk, indulge in positive memories.
Give yourself permission to feel, at times/places that are convenient for you.
Forgive yourself if you are unable to function at your top level. Ask for help if needed.
Do only what you can - it’s OK to change how you celebrate.

Remember, that by being understanding, patient and gentle with yourself you will continue to heal and maintain the continuing bond and love for the person you have lost. There is no magic to handling the holidays. Be kind to yourself.

Our best and warmest wishes to all this holiday season, and throughout the coming year.

Give a gift of Healing Give the Gift of Healing this holiday by honoring your clients, colleagues or children’s teachers with a donation in their honor to the Children's Bereavement Center. We will send a holiday greeting card to the person, family or business and acknowledge your gift in their honor to help a child heal after the loss of a loved one. Happy and Healthy Holidays from all of us at the Children's Bereavement Center!	Alexis Deutsch-Adler Oil Bar on Paper	CREATIVE GIVING Volunteering and supporting the CBC may become a family affair as is evidenced by the Blackman-Hoegh family. Joan Blackman has been a longtime facilitator and Board of Director of the CBC. Daughter Sophie also became involved with the CBC while attending Ransom, first as a member of the Ransom Bereavement Service Club and later as its President. Now a college Sophmore at University of Michigan, Sophie has found a new way to support the CBC. Recently, a gift of a painting created by artist Alexis Deutsch-Adler, was presented to Sophie by her family. As a friend of Sophie’s mom, Alexis refused to take payment for the purchase of the painting and instead, requested that Sophie donate her payment as a gift to her favorite charity. Sophie of course chose to sponsor a child at the CBC as her charity of choice! Thank you Alexis for being such a wonderful friend; thank you Sophie for your continued dedication to helping our kids and families; and thank you, Joan, for inspiring Sophie to follow in your footsteps!

New CBC Center

After 13 years of providing bereavement support for children and families in South Dade, the CBC, in partnership with VITAS Innovative Hospice Care and Miami Country Day School, has opened its second site in North Dade.

Twenty three people, including volunteers and paid Vitas staff have been trained in our “Healthful Grieving Model” in order to facilitate our Elementary, Middle School, Teen and Adult peer support groups. Since opening the new Center’s doors in September, nearly 25 new families have attended and been witness to the camaraderie, support and understanding that the CBC provides.

Our hope, in opening our Miami Shores program, is to enable more children and families to have access to others with whom they can share a common bond and find support in their adjustment to loss.

EDITH K. "EDIE" STARK

Edie Stark, a pioneer of Grief Support and Death Education died in October in her home in Miami. Edie was Miami’s first professional resource for bereavement counseling and support, helping hundreds of families in the aftermath of loss until her death this year. She provided bereavement education seminars to professionals, helping them to better serve their patients and clients. Edie is known nationally as one of the founders of Thanatology, and has presented seminars at the national conferences of ADEC (the Association of Death Education and Counseling).

Edie was a very special friend and mentor to the Children's Bereavement Center. She served on our Advisory Board since the opening of the CBC in 1999. Edie’s “Celebration of Life” Memorial will be fittingly held at Ransom Everglades School on November 13th. The Children's Bereavement Center weekly groups have met on the Ransom campus for the past nine years. Ransom Everglades kindly donated the Lewis Family Auditorium for her memorial service.

Read the online obituary at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/herald/obituary.aspx?n=edith-k-stark-edie&pid=154241410#ixzz1d3YM8ujD

Special Thanks to

for providing a special touch to our Holiday Memorial and summer events this year

Book Review..."Blue Nights," by Joan Didion

Joan Didion’s new book, “Blue Nights” is an extremely thoughtful and thought provoking insight to loving and loss. Shortly after the death of her husband John Gregory Dunne, Didion is faced with the reality of losing her only child, Quintana Roo, as well. In the novel she examines her own thoughts, fears and doubts about children, being a parent and growing old.

The novel touches on so many themes that are familiar to so many in the wake of loss. The desire to remember every moment, the questions surrounding what we think the relationship was and wasn’t and the instability of our own capabilities. Didion allows us a unique view of her life and struggles in this beautifully written and heartfelt novel.

Save The Date
March 31, 2012
Ransom Everglades Middle School
2045 S. Bayshore Drive, Coconut Grove
(Entrance via Tigertail Avenue, free valet parking)

Find us/Friend us on Facebook

Children's Bereavement Center Miami

CBC Leaf

The Children’s Bereavement Center (CBC) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization (#CH10400) and contributions are tax-deductible under IRS regulations. CBC receives 100% of each contribution.
A COPY OF THE OFFICIAL REGISTRATION AND FINANCIAL INFORMATION MAY BE OBTAINED FROM THE DIVISION OF CONSUMER SERVICES BY CALLING TOLL-FREE (800-435-7352) WITHIN THE STATE. REGISTRATION DOES NOT IMPLY ENDORSEMENT, APPROVAL, OR RECOMMENDATION BY THE STATE.